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Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Ends and Beginnings
My mom shared a verse with me today that has really encompassed my day: "For I am God, and there is no other; I am God and there is no one like Me, Declaring the end from the beginning..." Isaiah 46:9, 10 Today was the first day of school and Nicholas' first day of kindergarten. John is in San Diego, and I can't post the pictures without his tech support, so they will come later. Everything was going swimmingly and tear free for both Nicholas and I until his teacher read the parents a poem, and you can guess which of us cracked. "The First Day" I gave you a little wink and smile As you entered my room today. For I know how hard it is to leave And know your child must stay. You've been with him for five years now And have been a loving guide, But now alas, the time has come To leave him at my side, Just know that as you drive away And tears down your cheeks may flow I'll love him as I would my own And help him learn and grow. For as a parent I too know How quickly the years do pass And that one day soon it will be my turn To take my child to class. so please put your mind at ease and cry those tears no more For I will love him and take him in When you leave him at my door. If that wasn't the most low down thing to do, I don't know what is, to make a grown woman snivel and wipe the running mascara from under her eyes while crouched on a two foot high chair. Nicholas came in from the playground and said goodbye with a big smile. Later this afternoon, when I was carting Justin and Nicholas back to school to get Peter, my mom called from Tennessee to give an update on my Mamaw (grandma) who has been in the ICU this past week. She has gone downhill very quickly and the family will probably take her off the feeding tube today or tomorrow. Mom said even now, Mamaw looks like the shell of the person she was. She always wanted to go quickly, and Aunt Sue said she will probably come back and haunt us for putting her on the feeding tube at all. Its not sadness I feel exactly, esp. since she is in Christ, and "to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord." And when our earthly bodies fail us, we have such a longing for the new body He will give us. And I am so grateful I was able to go and be with her for her 80th birthday, and also that she did not have to see her daughter (who has had aggressive cancer for more than 10 years) pass away before her. But I think I am grieving in the same way as I am for Nicholas starting school, and his whole journey away from me. I don't know why these changes are so poignant for us, but I know for sure that my biggest comfort is the unchanging nature and purpose of God, and His complete knowledge and control. Again from Isaiah 46:9, 10 "For I am God , and there is no other; I am God and there is no one like Me, Declaring the end from the beginning And from ancient times things which have not been done, Saying, 'My purpose will be established, And I will accomplish all My good pleasure'." |
3 Comments:
Rachel you never cease to amaze me with the way you relate to the Lord. Even in the midst of your own struggles and not-so-good days you are an encouragement to me. I will be praying for you and your family as you are facing the loss of your Mamaw.
I'm so sorry that I called and talked all about me this morning! This has been a week of tears and emotions. I thought I was finally done with crying until I talked to mom. But God truly is kind, even when we feel like it's all out of control.
That was my devotional for the day, thank you! I will be pondering those verses all day. I love that you couldn't get through that poem without crying; that is totally you! And I can see Nicholas just so cheery and happy as always! I'm sure you'll have a fun and eventful year with him! And about your Mamaw, no matter what you know to be true in your head, you still feel what you feel in your heart, and that is very real. You are in my prayers, as always!
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