Textiler
Monday, March 24, 2008
6 months later
The last comment on my blog is my sister calling, "Where, oh, where has Rachel gone?" Well, my shuttle started flying through the warp and weft of my life and I forgot to stop and take note of the progress, which was exactly what I did not want to do (See Romans 7:18).
Apparently, I haven't posted anything for 6 months. I am only now slowed down at spring break time by a reoccurance of an old problem- my mouth. Not the non-stop talking problem that my family is thinking of- but my jaw, technically the temporomandibular joint or TMJ. Its yet another body part I would never know about were it not for the pain it gives. The benefit, at the moment, is that it is making me slow down and remember God's faithfulness to us this year. Because while I have thought a lot lately about how mindful He is of our prayers-like incense, a fragrant aroma, constantly before Him- and of our tears - He collects them in His bottle in Psalm 51- I think I lose faith because I am not as mindful of who He is.
So, lets backtrack....
September 2007- school year in full swing; Peter turns 7 and has a lego party; Nicholas trying not to let kindergarten disrupt his play time more than necessary; John is gone, comes back to speak on Sunday, gone again, then prepping for knee surgery; I start Bible Study on Exodus and am training for a half-marathon; Justin is my cutest accessory everywhere we go, including multiple church and school meetings.
Spiritual note: I can tell the Exodus study will strengthen me this year. From Ch. 1&2, God was concerned for the suffering of His people (which was not because of any sin or wrong that they had done) but He delayed their deliverance because of His purpose for all the nations- Gen. 15:13-15. So while He may delay deliverance in our lives because He is also working on those around us, I still hear Him say"Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you....He will not let the righteous fall."
October 2007- John and I have a switch in normal roles. He has knee surgery and has to rest and be dependent on others (mostly me:) for all his needs as well as coping with the pain of recovery. I get to see what he has gone through many times when I am sick and he has to care for me and the house and the boys- I am trying to show as much grace and compassion as he has done for me.
Meanwhile I attempt a super physical feat- running a half- marathon- with the goal of running the whole race and finishing upright and in one piece. Goal accomplished, many great lessons learned, not the least of which is that I cannot judge anyone's physical (or mental, spiritual) stamina by outward appearance. There were people twice my size and twice my age passing me- VERY humbling (or humiliating?...hmmmm). The last couple miles bore this resemblance to giving birth- NO mental strategy could distract me from the pain, and nothing could get me to the finish line except that it was unthinkable that I would not make it. Finishing the race still running...jogging...okay, really fast walking (after 2hours and 50 min.) was a huge victory!
Spiritual note: I need (again!) revelation about the children's ministry at our church and confirmation in my heart that this is where God is calling us to be. I feel drained by so many meetings and a lack of bonding in the things of our everyday life with these brothers and sisters in Christ- and I am sure this is not how its supposed to be.
Also, from Exodus, I am struck by the verses that contrast Pharoah's hardened heart. A "soft" heart is not found in Scripture, but a "contrite" heart is frequently mentioned. "Contrite" is from the Hebrew word for "dust (as pulverized)" or "crushed". There are two verses that I will put here in full because I have continued to meditate on them and can still hardly take it in because of the contrast of who God is and the type of person He seeks to dwell with.
I will take a break here so even the people who are remotely interested in our lives won't be bored by this ongoing saga. So November, next time....
I wanted to interject something hilarious Nicholas said last week... but I can't even remember it with all the advil and vicodin in my system. The only kid funny thing I can think of is that Justin is apparently giving the impression to all my friends this week that I spend all my time waiting on him hand and foot (fanning him while he eats popsicles on the sofa kind of picture); he's putting on his drama hat, demanding to be served. I can only think he is trying to fool them, since he has had to do the most for himself of any of the boys. In fact, John tends to forget he's just turned 3 and gives him a series of commands like "Go potty;take a bath; brush your teeth; change your underwear and put jammmies on; then get in bed and read(?!) a book;" then gets upset at him when he's discovered to have gotten distracted by a sword in the hallway. Unfortunately for Justin, though, I've entrusted him to the care of some pretty sharp mommies this week. Sorry babe, no luck this time!
Apparently, I haven't posted anything for 6 months. I am only now slowed down at spring break time by a reoccurance of an old problem- my mouth. Not the non-stop talking problem that my family is thinking of- but my jaw, technically the temporomandibular joint or TMJ. Its yet another body part I would never know about were it not for the pain it gives. The benefit, at the moment, is that it is making me slow down and remember God's faithfulness to us this year. Because while I have thought a lot lately about how mindful He is of our prayers-like incense, a fragrant aroma, constantly before Him- and of our tears - He collects them in His bottle in Psalm 51- I think I lose faith because I am not as mindful of who He is.
So, lets backtrack....
September 2007- school year in full swing; Peter turns 7 and has a lego party; Nicholas trying not to let kindergarten disrupt his play time more than necessary; John is gone, comes back to speak on Sunday, gone again, then prepping for knee surgery; I start Bible Study on Exodus and am training for a half-marathon; Justin is my cutest accessory everywhere we go, including multiple church and school meetings.
Spiritual note: I can tell the Exodus study will strengthen me this year. From Ch. 1&2, God was concerned for the suffering of His people (which was not because of any sin or wrong that they had done) but He delayed their deliverance because of His purpose for all the nations- Gen. 15:13-15. So while He may delay deliverance in our lives because He is also working on those around us, I still hear Him say"Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you....He will not let the righteous fall."
October 2007- John and I have a switch in normal roles. He has knee surgery and has to rest and be dependent on others (mostly me:) for all his needs as well as coping with the pain of recovery. I get to see what he has gone through many times when I am sick and he has to care for me and the house and the boys- I am trying to show as much grace and compassion as he has done for me.
Meanwhile I attempt a super physical feat- running a half- marathon- with the goal of running the whole race and finishing upright and in one piece. Goal accomplished, many great lessons learned, not the least of which is that I cannot judge anyone's physical (or mental, spiritual) stamina by outward appearance. There were people twice my size and twice my age passing me- VERY humbling (or humiliating?...hmmmm). The last couple miles bore this resemblance to giving birth- NO mental strategy could distract me from the pain, and nothing could get me to the finish line except that it was unthinkable that I would not make it. Finishing the race still running...jogging...okay, really fast walking (after 2hours and 50 min.) was a huge victory!
Spiritual note: I need (again!) revelation about the children's ministry at our church and confirmation in my heart that this is where God is calling us to be. I feel drained by so many meetings and a lack of bonding in the things of our everyday life with these brothers and sisters in Christ- and I am sure this is not how its supposed to be.
Also, from Exodus, I am struck by the verses that contrast Pharoah's hardened heart. A "soft" heart is not found in Scripture, but a "contrite" heart is frequently mentioned. "Contrite" is from the Hebrew word for "dust (as pulverized)" or "crushed". There are two verses that I will put here in full because I have continued to meditate on them and can still hardly take it in because of the contrast of who God is and the type of person He seeks to dwell with.
" For my hand made all these things,
Thus all these things came into being,"
declares the Lord.
"But to this one will I look,
to him who is humble and
contrite of spirit, and who
trembles at my word." Isaiah 66:2
For thus says the High and Exalted One
who dwells in eternity,
whose name is Holy,
"I dwell on a high and holy place,
and also with the contrite
and lowly of spirit
In order to revive the spirit of the lowly
And to revive the spirit of the contrite."
Isaiah 57:15
Thus all these things came into being,"
declares the Lord.
"But to this one will I look,
to him who is humble and
contrite of spirit, and who
trembles at my word." Isaiah 66:2
For thus says the High and Exalted One
who dwells in eternity,
whose name is Holy,
"I dwell on a high and holy place,
and also with the contrite
and lowly of spirit
In order to revive the spirit of the lowly
And to revive the spirit of the contrite."
Isaiah 57:15
I will take a break here so even the people who are remotely interested in our lives won't be bored by this ongoing saga. So November, next time....
I wanted to interject something hilarious Nicholas said last week... but I can't even remember it with all the advil and vicodin in my system. The only kid funny thing I can think of is that Justin is apparently giving the impression to all my friends this week that I spend all my time waiting on him hand and foot (fanning him while he eats popsicles on the sofa kind of picture); he's putting on his drama hat, demanding to be served. I can only think he is trying to fool them, since he has had to do the most for himself of any of the boys. In fact, John tends to forget he's just turned 3 and gives him a series of commands like "Go potty;take a bath; brush your teeth; change your underwear and put jammmies on; then get in bed and read(?!) a book;" then gets upset at him when he's discovered to have gotten distracted by a sword in the hallway. Unfortunately for Justin, though, I've entrusted him to the care of some pretty sharp mommies this week. Sorry babe, no luck this time!
