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The last comment on my blog is my sister calling, "Where, oh, where has Rachel gone?" Well, my shuttle started flying through the warp and weft of my life and I forgot to stop and take note of the progress, which was exactly what I did not want to do (See Romans 7:18).

Apparently, I haven't posted anything for 6 months. I am only now slowed down at spring break time by a reoccurance of an old problem- my mouth. Not the non-stop talking problem that my family is thinking of- but my jaw, technically the temporomandibular joint or TMJ. Its yet another body part I would never know about were it not for the pain it gives. The benefit, at the moment, is that it is making me slow down and remember God's faithfulness to us this year. Because while I have thought a lot lately about how mindful He is of our prayers-like incense, a fragrant aroma, constantly before Him- and of our tears - He collects them in His bottle in Psalm 51- I think I lose faith because I am not as mindful of who He is.

So, lets backtrack....

September 2007- school year in full swing; Peter turns 7 and has a lego party; Nicholas trying not to let kindergarten disrupt his play time more than necessary; John is gone, comes back to speak on Sunday, gone again, then prepping for knee surgery; I start Bible Study on Exodus and am training for a half-marathon; Justin is my cutest accessory everywhere we go, including multiple church and school meetings.
Spiritual note: I can tell the Exodus study will strengthen me this year. From Ch. 1&2, God was concerned for the suffering of His people (which was not because of any sin or wrong that they had done) but He delayed their deliverance because of His purpose for all the nations- Gen. 15:13-15. So while He may delay deliverance in our lives because He is also working on those around us, I still hear Him say"Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you....He will not let the righteous fall."

October 2007- John and I have a switch in normal roles. He has knee surgery and has to rest and be dependent on others (mostly me:) for all his needs as well as coping with the pain of recovery. I get to see what he has gone through many times when I am sick and he has to care for me and the house and the boys- I am trying to show as much grace and compassion as he has done for me.
Meanwhile I attempt a super physical feat- running a half- marathon- with the goal of running the whole race and finishing upright and in one piece. Goal accomplished, many great lessons learned, not the least of which is that I cannot judge anyone's physical (or mental, spiritual) stamina by outward appearance. There were people twice my size and twice my age passing me- VERY humbling (or humiliating?...hmmmm). The last couple miles bore this resemblance to giving birth- NO mental strategy could distract me from the pain, and nothing could get me to the finish line except that it was unthinkable that I would not make it. Finishing the race still running...jogging...okay, really fast walking (after 2hours and 50 min.) was a huge victory!
Spiritual note: I need (again!) revelation about the children's ministry at our church and confirmation in my heart that this is where God is calling us to be. I feel drained by so many meetings and a lack of bonding in the things of our everyday life with these brothers and sisters in Christ- and I am sure this is not how its supposed to be.
Also, from Exodus, I am struck by the verses that contrast Pharoah's hardened heart. A "soft" heart is not found in Scripture, but a "contrite" heart is frequently mentioned. "Contrite" is from the Hebrew word for "dust (as pulverized)" or "crushed". There are two verses that I will put here in full because I have continued to meditate on them and can still hardly take it in because of the contrast of who God is and the type of person He seeks to dwell with.


I will take a break here so even the people who are remotely interested in our lives won't be bored by this ongoing saga. So November, next time....

I wanted to interject something hilarious Nicholas said last week... but I can't even remember it with all the advil and vicodin in my system. The only kid funny thing I can think of is that Justin is apparently giving the impression to all my friends this week that I spend all my time waiting on him hand and foot (fanning him while he eats popsicles on the sofa kind of picture); he's putting on his drama hat, demanding to be served. I can only think he is trying to fool them, since he has had to do the most for himself of any of the boys. In fact, John tends to forget he's just turned 3 and gives him a series of commands like "Go potty;take a bath; brush your teeth; change your underwear and put jammmies on; then get in bed and read(?!) a book;" then gets upset at him when he's discovered to have gotten distracted by a sword in the hallway. Unfortunately for Justin, though, I've entrusted him to the care of some pretty sharp mommies this week. Sorry babe, no luck this time!

Thank you Amy for forwarding this hilarious e-bay add.

You have to read the whole post with the lady's story of taking her 6 children to the grocery store, which we can all relate to on some level. Great big belly laugh!

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=130144061675&ru=http%3A%2F%2Fsearch.ebay.com%3A80%2Fsearch%2Fsearch.dll%3Ffrom%3DR40%26_trksid%3Dm37%26satitle%3D130144061675%26category0%3D%26fvi%3D1

My mom shared a verse with me today that has really encompassed my day: "For I am God, and there is no other; I am God and there is no one like Me, Declaring the end from the beginning..." Isaiah 46:9, 10 Today was the first day of school and Nicholas' first day of kindergarten. John is in San Diego, and I can't post the pictures without his tech support, so they will come later. Everything was going swimmingly and tear free for both Nicholas and I until his teacher read the parents a poem, and you can guess which of us cracked. "The First Day" I gave you a little wink and smile As you entered my room today. For I know how hard it is to leave And know your child must stay. You've been with him for five years now And have been a loving guide, But now alas, the time has come To leave him at my side, Just know that as you drive away And tears down your cheeks may flow I'll love him as I would my own And help him learn and grow. For as a parent I too know How quickly the years do pass And that one day soon it will be my turn To take my child to class. so please put your mind at ease and cry those tears no more For I will love him and take him in When you leave him at my door. If that wasn't the most low down thing to do, I don't know what is, to make a grown woman snivel and wipe the running mascara from under her eyes while crouched on a two foot high chair. Nicholas came in from the playground and said goodbye with a big smile. Later this afternoon, when I was carting Justin and Nicholas back to school to get Peter, my mom called from Tennessee to give an update on my Mamaw (grandma) who has been in the ICU this past week. She has gone downhill very quickly and the family will probably take her off the feeding tube today or tomorrow. Mom said even now, Mamaw looks like the shell of the person she was. She always wanted to go quickly, and Aunt Sue said she will probably come back and haunt us for putting her on the feeding tube at all. Its not sadness I feel exactly, esp. since she is in Christ, and "to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord." And when our earthly bodies fail us, we have such a longing for the new body He will give us. And I am so grateful I was able to go and be with her for her 80th birthday, and also that she did not have to see her daughter (who has had aggressive cancer for more than 10 years) pass away before her. But I think I am grieving in the same way as I am for Nicholas starting school, and his whole journey away from me. I don't know why these changes are so poignant for us, but I know for sure that my biggest comfort is the unchanging nature and purpose of God, and His complete knowledge and control. Again from Isaiah 46:9, 10 "For I am God , and there is no other; I am God and there is no one like Me, Declaring the end from the beginning And from ancient times things which have not been done, Saying, 'My purpose will be established, And I will accomplish all My good pleasure'."

So John went to OSH last night to make a small purchase. He needed a patch to seal the leak in the outside pool (our new above ground pool with inflatable rim- very glamorous:)

When he went to check out, the cashier asked to see his ID. He asked, of course, what he was buying that needed ID. She said it was the rubber cement. John asked what they were afraid of him doing with the rubber cement, and she responded in a low serious tone with her European accent, "Dlugs." Then, she looked carefully at John's license and said slowly, "Yas... you are over eighteen."

John has turned 18 TWICE!!!!! He is doomed to look like my trophy husband.

"Nothing can be so amusingly arrogant as a young man who has just discovered an old idea and thinks it is his own."
- Sidney J. Harris

The young man is named Nicholas. The old idea is that someone else "made me do it." As old as Adam and Eve and the serpent, actually.... "the woman you gave me" made me eat it, "the serpent you made" gave it to me.

Nicholas cuts through the euphemisms. When I looked at him and asked, "Did you smash Jeremy's lego castle and then run away?" He looked straight in my eyes and said "No.." (3 second pause)..."God made me do it!"

We explored wildlife at the Oakland Zoo today. This is the link to the picasa web album. Our favorites were the river otters that live in families and play all day, like us this summer!

http://picasaweb.google.com/kujosan/20070809OaklandZoo?authkey=SYzxzfBgY7U